Conviction: Book 1; Book of kaphka
Book of kaphka - Book 1 Chapter 17
A book of D/s support and wisdom
Speaks of; Reliance
1 But one serf have I, only one who answers to and beckons to hear My pleasure. 2 But one who answers to My call of serf. But one who has such honour as is My collar. 3 But one, do I count on – But one do I make such demand from as is life.
4 But one serf have I who would attempt and work to appease and answer to such as would be My whims, my desires, My fancy. 5 Only One would serve My needs before their own. So precious and rare is this gift that only one is willing to give it. 6 Only one is thus far capable of giving it. 7 So binding is such service, that it is asked of only one.
8 The more one asks and the more who they ask it from, the more likely is the chance for misadventure for interference of will. 9 Depend not upon the whim of another – Rely not on the gratuity of one not under Your roof, but instead find such strength as would be asked a toddler learning to walk. 10 To break from such bonds as is dependency and reliance one must first find the strength to fail, to be stripped bare, and then still have the resolve to go get the goal.
11 Fail not in fear, be swallowed not by doubt, give not into desire of future becoming reality.
12 If the journey of a thousand miles begins with that single step, then surely the possibility of an altered reality is begun with a single decision. 13 Decide then what it is that is to be honoured, cherished, enacted upon, and brought to life. Act upon such decisions, not upon the fear.
14 Decide where to begin, when such will occur – Know such immediacy as is only imagined, bring this into your hearts, hold that within your soul, keep it at the forefront of your mind. Know it well, for this is your tomorrow.
15 Rely not upon the whims of your Royal, nor Your serf, but rely instead upon the will of self, the determination of soul, the drive of belief. 16 Find your balance in starkness, in abstinence and decadence. 17 Know that the heart is a fickle thing and that as do the winds shift and bring such as is change 18 So too must a heart shift focus to create such space as needs change to be enabled.
19 Give not to reliance for reliance builds fear. 20 Give not to dependence, for dependence builds fear. 21 Give instead to loyalty of cause, to faith of outcome, to honour and privilege. 22 Know the pleasures as would be self reliance, give to your dependence as opposed to being co-dependant. 23 Such error of substance is one of many which men and WOmen fall prey before – So it is that a serf believes reliance upon a royal would be encouraged, would be desired, would be sought. 24 Thus it is also that a Royal seeks on whom they can depend, and yet to be in such need is to be without independence, and creates such heavy dependency as to kill belief in self. 25 The death which is this – is the death of soul, to call upon one’s self such death by either action or inaction is to carry such fear as to inhibit any other possibility than nightmare.
26 Give credence to self worth. 27 Give time for personal growth, commit to self improvement, seek to be surrounded by that which serves the tomorrow you seek to build today. 28 Exercise such passions as is restraint and a notation of pattern, the same patterns which serve to destroy such dreams as would be tomorrow.
29 Rely not upon the whim or will of another until you are able to depend upon your own whim or will as being consistently productive and positive.
30 Check your choices frequently, and ask of your heart if such decisions bring temporary smiles, or long term satisfaction and enjoyment. 31 Never ask another to care for or protect that which you treasure, for such dependency is sure to breed discontent which crosses time to find you when you desire it least.
32 Learning to walk in the shoes of self reliance is not an easy task, nor one set to of a sudden will. Just as a toddler first watches, then learns, then attempts, then fails, then sits a time to consider what has just been learned and where such as error occurred, so too is the effort of independence attempted over and again until success is achieved.
33 Just as a toddler perceives leaning upon such as is a table or chair as, “standing independently,” so too does the reliant and dependant heart feel as though such a small step is such a great succeed, praise them as such and the next success will be even greater. 34 The smaller the step and the more satisfaction is gained from it the more is such evidence that one underachieves, the easier it is to see how far behaviour has slipped, and thus how long the road is to return to such confidence and self esteem as is garnered from self reliance and true independence.
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