Book of Conviction: Book 1; Book of kaphka
Book of kaphka - Book 1 Chapter 20
A book of D/s support and wisdom

20

Speaks of; Self-Examination

1  Do you carry that which is not yours? 2  Do you bring before Me a mind troubled with the cares of another, of those before, of those imagined?  3  Does this one wish the past be repeated, or the future to carry such promise as is stifled and drowned today?  4  Does this one wish life, or merely to live?

  5  What does this one bring, not just before Me, but before any Royal who may claim it, who may collar that neck, who may lay claim to such as would be “your life?” What is offered, and what is brought?  6  What is denied, what is hidden from view until such time as “comfort” is found and security is felt?  7  What is told, what is kept secret? How much is demanded, and how much is given?  8  When does the serf become submissive, and what is that mind waiting for to finally give in and capitulate to such as would be a Royal, holding the leash which is connected to such as would be a collar?  9  Do you enjoy challenge, or does challenge intimidate you?

  10  What do You wait for to lay claim? What is it You are seeking, and are not desiring?  11  What would it take to have You accept the one before You as Yours? What is it that You hold as sacred, as sacrosanct, as important?  12  What is it that You find to be irrelevant, and what do You insist upon? Would you bring challenge to the serf, or are You merely seeking to work within the already placed boundaries?  13  What brings You joy, what causes You pain? What is it that is missing from Your life, and can the one before You provide it, or does this demand outstrip the serf’s ability?  14  Would You be so willing to accept this one if they were a pauper? Would You be so quick to disqualify this serf if they were well endowed?

  15  The questions to be asked and answered have little to do with logic, and far more to do with emotion, with drive, with goals, are you looking at these things? Stop being logical, and start being emotional.
  16  Would the collar be placed proudly, or merely placed?  17  Would you wear a collar which is merely placed, or must there be pride and honour in the collar?  18  Would You take a serf without pride or honour? Would the serf capitulate to a Royal without dignity or respect?  19  Do You understand where things keep going wrong, or is the conviction, that the problem remains with others?
  20  Emotion rules heart, heart is what needs be appeased to endure, is heart being considered?  21  Is heart being respected and held as cherished?  22  Is heart being given rein, or is it reined in? Will the heart be suffocated, or is the ability to balance emotion and reason being held as primary?
  23  When will the small need, become the driving force? Does that need require encouragement, or manipulation to be fully evolved?
  24  Tomorrow comes too quickly only to those who are unprepared, are the preparations in place, or need they be done? 25  Does the placement of today mesh with the dreams and desires of tomorrow, or is the one being fooled, the same one in the mirror?

  26  Ask of yourself such things, and look within for such as are answers. Ask and demand not that another provide them for you, for so doing is inviting sure misery. 27  You have the power to create, the issue is what will be created, not the ability to produce the dream.  28  Too often the dream becomes nightmare because in the haste of heart to be fulfilled such questions are often overlooked, omitted.  29  Why would one be so “clinical” about such as are needs of a serf and a Royal? Why bother to look within for such answers, when so many are so happy to provide such answers?  30  Their answers are not the responses of this heart, of this soul.  31  Their answers do not affect the reality of your world unless you permit it, or become a part of it. Hold to the knowledge that what is right for another may very well be completely incorrect for You.  32  Rush not into the responsibility of Our world, but walk slowly into the surf and allow it to wave by wave overtake you, claim you, and wash away such bounds as would be placed by the world of man today.  33  Whether serf, or Royal, dive not into the waters of the unknown, the water is never as it seems.

  34  Remember – water which is clear to the base is warm and accepting, is pure and is teaming with life.
  35  The water which is dark and murky is cold and repulsive to Your advances, the life here is scarce and unpleasant.

  36  Which will You drink, which will you submit to?
  37  Which would You rather be enveloped and surrounded by? Which would you rather be associated with? If today brings not the dream, will tomorrow bring the nightmare? What would you have? What would You have? What will the two hold, together?

  38  Ask the questions of yourself, and then ask them of the others. 39  If the answers from both sides are well matched, then surely the collar and leash will be well fitted.
  40  Never discount possibility, for too often it is the possibility alone which leads us into a productive and happy tomorrow

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