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The Pity Clause

  While doing my work and research here, to see what I could find out about making a dent in public thought and consciousness (or lack of it), I came across what was viewed as "the model for awareness."  I thought - Oh great, this is what I've been looking for.  The whole thing was a few short sentences long and it said something like.  "Be educational and informative about your target group, but more than that you really need to have a pity trip in place to get people's attention."   Basically it went on saying "if you didn't have a pity clause you don't have a cause at all, after all you have to have a method to attain and retain public sentiment and spotlight".
  The black movement used slavery.  The gay movement used persecution, and now of course A.I.D.S.  The Natives try to awaken awareness of the genocide they faced.  Jews use the lack of a homeland, the mentally ill claim societal persecution and lack of understanding.  The infernal, eternal; The Pity Clause.

  And I sat back and was disgusted.  Thoroughly and fully, unimpressed.   Sure I agree you need to get people's attention about things before you can do anything about it.  But at the same time I'm sure there are much more positive and constructive ways and means.  The trick is in being creative enough to find them.
  One of the things often repeated by those within the community is that those with an interest within the scene tend to as a group have higher I.Q's on the whole, and that this is why vanilla sex becomes so boring and stagnant in a short time.  We like to exercise our creativity and passion.  And yet here we sit, creatively, collectively, passionately, in the closet!

  What is wrong with this group of people?
  Some of you will say society "Isn't ready to accept us yet."  Others fear public persecution, job loss, children being removed from the household, family stresses and other upsets.  Still others would brazenly say "We have no pity clause." ( I'd hate to point it out to you poor fools but that last sentence was a listing of a few of them.  Loss of job because you are gay ... Gee that's pity clause section 43 in the gay movement - isn't it?  And removal of child for sexual orientation ... Hmmm - Oh I see it here - subsection 76!)
  And yet a submissive who is mistreated has no recourse, no form of support, or healing.   The other submissives might try to help, but many will in turn believe the submissive wasn't "smart, or safe" in arrangements and preparations.   Laying charges other than in extreme cases is not an exercised option either.   Mainstream society doesn't have enough of an understanding of the intricacies of D/s etiquette, and rules and so they tend to turn it's back upon us, in these matters.
  We are no different than the blacks and gays in that we are born this way, and yet when our children are born we feel we must decide whether to deny the child or deny yourself.  Either not play, dress or otherwise participate in scene activities, thus denying yourself - Or never speak of, mention or be proud of your child to anyone who knows of your interests.  Heavens forbid that someone should see you adoring and worshipping your mate, while appreciating parenthood.

    To specifically address the issue of children:
Why do people jump to the conclusions if you are into D/s and have kids, you must somehow have your kids involved?  What is this?  Do we also assume if a gay male has a son, the son is being molested?  If a straight, vanilla couple has two kids do we assume he is molesting the girls, and she is molesting the boys?  The couple with 3 boys who keep trying for a girl, is this assumed to be because dad has an interest?  When someone says they want to be a school teacher or preacher, do we assume they're doing this to have access to their "target groups?"  
  Am I offending you yet?  Good because I find this entire line of thought offensive, and then why is it assumed D/s'ers have their children involved somehow? 
  Can I point out the people who believe this stuff must have no idea overall how many sets of equipment you'd need for various sized bodies, how often you'd use them, and what a waste this would be.  Also enjoying a willing power exchange, with a 7 yr. old in bondage (I would think), would be entirely impossible.  Poor tyke would be just a little too freaked out to be having interests anywhere else.
  Rapists, abusers, and people of this ilk, are not to be accepted within the community despite the fact that as society becomes less tolerant of them, they seek shelter and camouflage within our ranks.
  If we speak out about them we become the group to which they belong (short term) and thus, obviously the public opinion would temporarily shift towards a deepening of discontents.  However as this is not the norm nor the desire for the multitude of us, this is a short lived problem, and can be addressed.
  It can only be addressed if we are all willing to stand up and speak out together.  There are people out there who are forced into situations beyond their control, by other people who we feel unable to stand up to them.  The possible number of reasons for that is countless, the point remains however something needs to be done to change it, and we can't expect anyone to do it for us.

  The people who are in relationships and situations which are abusive and cruel between the adults, and those of you who are privy to these things need to have the courage and tenacity to stand up, speak out, and put in some efforts to stop the insanity.  I'm tired of being penalized for things I haven't done, and I'm sure I'm not the only one to have experienced this.

  The point I'm driving at here is we have enough pity clauses overall to rot a dying cat.  And yet we have no voice, no backbone, no pride to stand up to society and say "Hey - This is who we are and what we enjoy.  We don't have to have it in your face, but when you find out we do enjoy it - Lay off and don't persecute us because of it."
  I know of a number of people right now who are in the midst of divorces and deathly afraid their sexual orientation will be the cause of public debate in courts, regarding child custody.  Why this issue even comes into play confounds me, as it has nothing whatsoever to do with a persons ability, or desire, to raise a child.  I mean isn't this why babysitters are available?
  I know of slaves who have sustained permanent physical injury, psychological damage, and non-consensual public disgrace, at the hands of their dominant, and yet again due to public opinion and fear of retribution/harassment etc; these people are unable to demand justice, "fair play," and other niceties.  These self professed dominants in turn, continue their antics until the local community wises up to them, at which point they simply move to another town.  Unchecked, uncontrolled, undisciplined.

   I know of subs who have had eyes taken out with stilettos by long standing Domina's - and then were then left to wait for Her return.  The sub in question told only Myself, his point being no-one else would ever believe SHE had done such a terrible thing to such a long standing toy. Unfortunately he was right, and She continues "playing."   I know of males who have been repeatedly raped by their "Mistress' boyfriends" - When neither male involved claimed homosexual interest, but the "vanilla boyfriend" claimed he knew something the slave wouldn't do for her.  The sub endures and is still tossed aside at the end of this, and yet even without consent - again ... What recourse?  There has been more than one near "accidental castration,"  more than one unsolicited home invasion, more than one suicide on command.  And what recourse?
  Then there are the scam artists - Outright rip-off jobs.  From 5$ up to $8,000.   From send Me rolls of film and I will take pictures for you - to posting someone else's' picture on their ad.  From "2 hour bondage sessions" where you are strapped into a rack and ignored for 1 hr 55 min - to take all you can get from the asshole and give as little back in return as possible.  And what recourse?

  On the other side of the spectrum ... I know of clients who paid the Domina her fee, and a watched where she placed the money.  At the end of the session, when he was released - and when she went to the bathroom stole all her funds - She had a couple of kids, that was Her X-mas & bill money.  And what recourse?   I know of clients physically attacking Domina's, and chasing them down with cars.  And what recourse?  From the guy who calls daily and wastes 30 min of her day, eight times a day to the guy who didn't like his "scene" and so decides to call in "authorities."  And what recourse does she have?
  I know of slaves who when removed from their owners care, decided to burglarize their homes, to attack the Domina.  I know of those who have been left, who decided that they would completely ruin the Domina's reputation, and good name - Using whatever means possible.  I know of inter-Domina warfare which has been very costly in many ways and sides .. And what recourse does anyone have?
  From the tough guy who figures he's been wronged, to the housewife who caught her husband, and feels she has been maligned - And what recourse?  If she is ever beaten or attacked - Ever.  By anyone ... They mention the letters BDSM - and the case won't even manage to make it before the courts!!
  I know this for a fact ... It happened to Me.  It took Me 3 weeks to heal enough to be able to move - And what recourse?  None.  And trust Me ... I looked.  I tried.  I spent a year working on it.  In the end My involvement with the local D/s scene killed Me.  I wasn't even permitted in the court room.  Locally there was a mild protest and calls for a mistrial - But the backing wasn't there - And as I had a female crown, and a female judge - both of whom would be in positions of authority and control themselves and you would THINK fathom this ... I had the wind socked out of My sails.  Next time however, we take it all the way to the finish line.  And yes, I was very careful about all the meetings with the person who did it.  And it didn't happen on the first or 4th meeting.  I was feeling rather comfortable with the person by the time it happened, as was the crew of slaves.  Don't tell Me I wasn't careful - Or anyone was totally stupid and blind.  It was a "burn" and I was the victim.
  For the past number of years while I have been away, I was being chased and harassed in the courts, and unfortunately I'm not even sure if I'm allowed yet to explain to people what happened or otherwise.  I knew the site had caused a lot of interest and created a stir.  I knew that a number and multitude of people within the scene and community were threatened by what is here, as it exposes the truth of their situations ... What I didn't count on was being so true, so right, and so "on the money" about these things that I would cause that much of a stir, or create that much interest.
  I can write off the panic within the community as people knowing they're on the way out, and about to go the way of the dinosaur.  And I knew even back then, that what I am saying and showing all of you will require a complete changing of society and how we treat each other in order to be fully realized.  But hey, I'm insane right.  I could accept that, I mean it sounds somewhat loopy ...

  But then the courts found the site and the pages, and I got sucked into a battle that went on for years upon years.  A battle in which this domain became the focal point for a number of weeks until I was ordered by the courts to remove it. ... Oh but wait, I thought I was insane ... If I'm insane and this is the rantings of a lunatic, what concern would the typing be to them?  So I started to think, and I started to dig ... and I saw the truth clearer through them than I have ever seen it before.
  You see the courts and lawyers and people up there ... those "they" people.  They make the rules.  They enforce them.  They don't have a clue.  On top of that, if you follow and absorb the writings here I strongly support self-responsibility and the understanding of cause and effect.  Our current systems are in direct opposition to this viewpoint.  Apparently when they read the site, they understood, they saw, and they got scared - Because I'm right.  Because they know and see the same things those within the community who would persecute Me see, they see a threat to their way of life, and their comfort levels.  I know now, that in Me they see a threat they never thought they'd have to face, after all that was the very reason they got themselves into these positions of authority and power in the first place.

  If we are born this way.  If we know, or would accept no other way.  If we are a society, and community, unto and of ourselves - Which we are.  If we have our own sets of manners, etiquette's, rules, and standards - Which we do.  What makes us any different than any other minority ethnicity?
  Listen ... If the gays got their rights, why can't we?  Why do the Ladies have to keep worrying about violent customers - or the guys about rip off artists?  Why can't we be safe too - And hide behind our pity clause?  Why won't people more brazenly tout it?  Stop being so afraid.  Start speaking, and you will find many voices join in - Rather like all those other movements.
  There was a time when Women were property - by law.  It wasn't that long ago.   In the 1970's a Woman working for the airlines had to have the authorization of Her employer to change Her hairstyle.  That wasn't so long ago, was it. 
  Raise your voice!  Cry for your freedoms - Ask for your rights, and demand justice!

  And if we must use a pity clause ... Pick any one of a thousand ... They are all in good company.
  I have now been stripped bare, and left abandoned.  I have been dragged through the mud, I have been insulted, I have been degraded, humiliated, I have been emotionally ransacked and plundered, and I have endured.  I endured because every time they took something else or demanded I give it up I became one step closer to being the champion of the cause, the one with nothing left to lose anymore ... The one who knows because of experience.  When My Own personal pity clause began I had it all, and now I have nothing left anymore except a cause, a motivation, and a burning need to set this right.

  I deserve everything anyone else does, and believe Me, I could type books on our pity clauses.  Volumes, libraries ... entire Legal libraries full of them.  I already have a file cabinet worth ...
  My lawyer, I had disbarred - Anyone who touched "the matter" has since lost their livelihood and had the pedigrees pulled.  They were wrong, and it was ultimately decided to be an issue of personal contempt, the fact that their governing bodies agreed with Me shows this as true. But I am far stronger than many others, and I'm very creative when it comes to ways of addressing problems and finding solutions.  My Own battle on this front is not yet done, but I need some time to be with all of you, to tell you - You are not alone; Someone does understand.  This isn't just My fight, and My situation, its representative of households, stables and situations everywhere.

  My fight - is your fight - is OUR fight.
  You want a pity clause - I can spoon feed you item upon item of pity clause.  Every pity clause every other group has ever used, is ours.  I'm not going down easy, and I'm nowhere near giving up on this one.  I have nothing left to lose anymore - Nothing.
  So; I'm ready to pick up the proverbial torch and sword and start a battle here.  I will pick up the fight for recognition, self-responsibility, and justice.  I come seeking fair play, understanding, compassion and the respect of the world around us, and between us.  I seek to return the smiles to the mothers now filled with fear, and the joy to the days of children.  I am walking into the future with a motivation of bringing you with Me - If you will come.
  They want a pity clause - You know we have one, I know we have a lot more than just one, plus I'm good at having people listen.  Enough of the fear, the repercussion, the persecution, the ruthless destruction of home and security, enough hiding.  I have no reason to hide anymore - Feel free to hide behind Me, because once we have the people and the methods, I'm taking this fight to the top.
  In the meantime I will walk among you, I will be with you, and for the moment I will go unrecognized.  I may be the person beside you at a play party, I may be responding to you in an email, I may even be the person you are relying on for advice.  I will be at the parties and playing, I will be at events watching.  I will be seen on various sites and bulletin boards and for now, you will not know it is Me.  I will be right there in the closet beside you, not because the world refuses to let Me out of it.  But instead because between us all I sincerely hope we can find a way to get us out there and being heard without people having to go through the insanity I've endured.  Truly I don't think many would have survived it, I honestly don't think I was expected to. 
  I had to.  If I don't who will?  If they do this to Me, what do they do to you?  If I had no way to fight it other than the method which I took in the end ... What would you have done?  How many of you would think of having all those papers pulled?  How many after enduring that would have had the strength to go do that - alone?  No support.  You versus Them ... Their own committees and boards left to decide who was ultimately correct, justified, and behaving properly.  Would you have had such brass, such audacity?  If this was so hard for Me - what's it like for those of you who aren't so agile, so strong, or so "ill tempered?"  I can't leave you out here alone while I go off gallivanting and joyriding in the abandon of having no responsibilities anymore, no societal restraints.  I'm simply not that sort of person.  You all pulled Me through because I knew I have to be here for you. I have to do this, I have to be able to understand it though, and truly comprehend how hard it's going to be too.  So I do appreciate all of that now, and I am ready.  Are you?

  I am but one voice - I need your help.  I don't need pity clauses, I need your voice, and your support, I need you to stand up for yourself, and decide that you deserve better, and are ready to go and get it. 
  I'm willing to step forward for you, but I need something behind Me so I am forward.  Please join us in the effort to create a world and society without such blatant discrepancies and injustices as we currently see.  The time has come for us to be given voice, will you join us in the war-cry?

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This is a file published and hosted on  Please - Do not reprint, repost, or otherwise duplicate these files in full, or in part without express written authorization of the copyright holder, to do so is to risk criminal persecution and contempt of the community at large.  If you replicate without consent, the rest of your site is trash - Safe - Sane - Consensual - Fun - Between adults - keep it healthy.