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" About Slavery " a copy righted manuscript; copyright 1994, 2000,
2001, 2005 D.Vyne...
WHY SOME PEOPLE CHOOSE TO STAY WITH
ABUSERS
Parallels found in D/s orientated
activities, and abusive relationships
I'm about to anger a lot of people out there, but I do find different things, which are very similar between the D/s and a co-dependant/abusive relationship. If people are not aware and conscious of these similarities, and the largest differentiation in the relationships (being the stance of cause and effect), avoiding those feelings of abuse may be impossible. The relationship may then quickly “sour” and turn for the worse, which is no one's desire or goal..
The idea of
“About Slavery,” is to work together to avoid that. Rather than having the lessons learned by trial
and error, and everyone being upset by the outcome, we’re going to look at this
constructively and see where some of the pitfalls are, and if they can be avoided.
If the style of play and the reasons behind
it are not done conscientiously, the results may seem like abuse. You both need to remember that you are doing
this with love, trust, and care, and bring that into the “play” with you. The first, and biggest thing to keep in mind is
that you are acting in love, not anger, disgust, contempt, fear, hate, or enmity.
One common
misconception of those deciding to make the leap from taking their D/s oriented desire
from a subconscious to a conscious level, is that they must be cruel and mean people (as
Tops), or pretty pathetic and sick (as bottoms). This simply isn't true. You have alternative desires sexually, and
you want to have fun doing it. You don’t
“get mean,” and go nuts on someone. Nor
do you desire to be “beat up,” the reasons are different, more fulfilling, and
less co-dependant than an abusive relationship. Yet
too, in some ways the D/s relationship opens the possibilities up for more of that
inter-dependant reliance.
For some of the subordinates, the lure of
D/s revolves around knowing their demon, and thus not having to guess at it. For others it’s a matter of physical pain,
and emotional stability. For others it’s
a matter of being able to share the most intimate, well guarded, aspects of their own
personal self, with someone who will appreciate and honor it, not be repulsed and
disgusted. The rarest group of the bunch, are
those who don’t understand their drive and don’t need to. They simply know
this is something they “must” do. It’s
who, and what they are.
Within the Dominant realm the desires and
lures are more complex, there are simply more mindsets and options. There are those who desire full and complete
mental, emotional and physical control, which means a stripping away of option, choice,
and decision. Some are more interested in
exchanges of energy and power, willingly. Others,
simply enjoy causing physical sensation and watching reactions to stimuli. There are those who enjoy being pampered and
spoiled, those who enjoy the control, those who enjoy the stimulation (both mental and
physical) of their partner/s those who seek life-long assistants, and invariably those
looking for a free and easy ride.
Another common misconception is that you "can't do it." You want to, and you'd like to try, but you're afraid of the actual attempt because you think you can't do it, except you know can, and want to. Not only can you, but you can do it well. You are naturally dominant and submissive every day in your entire life. Now all you're doing is getting sexually creative, and either more demanding, or more complacent. There are many simple and small ways to explore your desires and urges without being overt. Hopefully in your reading of this text a few will come to you, or be found.
And the final issue most encountered ... Where to begin?
Most dominants find that in the beginning they have a problem with starting a
scene, and getting into the groove. You can begin at any time. In the middle
of dinner, for ill mannered table habits for instance, or while dancing for stepping on
Your toes, or jerking You roughly about. During love making when things don't quite
go as You like and are becoming frustrated, take the lead.
In an abusive relationship the “victim”
fears and despises the assaults, and one will notice, with time that the sex becomes more
appeasement than love orientated. Both
parties harbor resentments and distrust, often they begin to dislike even the smallest
mannerisms of their partner. But the
emotional “breaking and conditioning,” won’t permit the strength, hope, and
trust, people need within their own hearts, to break free of the emotional bonds. The feelings between both parties in an abusive
situation also oscillate rapidly between love, adoration, fear, hate, and anger. Also to be considered and factored into most
abusive relationships is the fact that in most instances the abusive or violence of
the situation is brought on either by alcohol or drug use.
Which is to say that in these cases the abuser tends to require being
mentally incapacitated, or use a crutch in order to be participating in the violent
assault of their unwilling, unreceptive victim. The
use of these substances permits the abuser to claim later on “it wasn’t my
fault,” or “I don’t remember that.”
In a loving D/s relationship we want to remember, we want to appreciate, we
want to give and take freely. All of these
things involve and require full mental capacity and ability.
In a D/s relationship, (a
relationship which is based in
Domination and Submission) both parties look forward to, and enjoy the physical interaction
at all its' levels, intensities, and forms. Most
people within the D/s community hold fast to the “unwritten rule” that
participation in any form of responsible D/s should NOT be taking place if under the
influence of alcohol, or drugs. This is
because D/s isn’t done in anger, or jealousy; it isn’t full of the same
intimidation, and fear inducing rage, as is abuse. Most of all, it isn’t violent, it’s
loving.
People partake in D/s oriented activities to provoke lust, and trust between
those who enjoy it. However, because locating
a “suitable” D/s partner is a test of endurance, and desire, the emotional
dependency might also integrate into this reality. When
things go amiss the ideal situation would call for an opening of the lines of
communication. Find a way to talk to your
playmate about it, because if you don’t, you’ll find the penalty in the long run
is pretty severe.
In this type of dominant and submissive
relationship too, the feelings can go through some fairly intense phases and situations,
however the “ebb and flow” of those feelings are far more level and on an even
keel than those originating from an abusive relationship.
This is to say to create graphs of the feelings, emanating from the either,
and both situations, we should find the D/s one is more stable, secure, and loving than
the abusive situation.
I’d like to now
attempt to demonstrate the reasons I believe people stay with abusers, and illustrate some
similarities in the abusive, and top/bottom relationships. Through the chapter we will
also look at how your specific desires and needs fit in, and what your motivations are. I
do this so you can see, understand, and decide for yourself, and find some comfort and
peace in your search for understanding and answers. So
why you are doing this and why do they (your playmate), want to? What are these similarities? What are the differences?
ABUSIVE WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND:
The abusive woman will typically have affairs and flaunt them openly; she may slap
him, or otherwise physically assault him both publicly and privately. Typically she will
hound and belittle her lover or husband. He must answer to her always, even though she
herself refuses to do or say much. Generally her domestic skills will be somewhat lacking.
She may go out, leaving him with the children after work. She may threaten him with
leaving, or actually leave regularly. She will constantly order him around as she
chastises, and demeans. Her personality type would also accommodate the withholding of
sex, or of physical contact. She would view sex more as a tool or a weapon, than a
personal intimacy. This does not mean she is not above having sex with his family members
or work mates in a bid to humiliate him.
Financially; although she may work, her
spending far outstrips her earnings, and often his; however, he will be responsible to
“take care of things.” She usually buys items for herself, spending little on
his needs, the child/ren, or the dwelling. This may cause arguments, which in the end have him working a
second job. She doesn't mind however, as this gives her more time for unsupervised
shopping and sexual activities.
Publicly all is well, but when at home the confrontational level is
intense, the only respite being away, an action which causes still more upset,
and problems.
He is her punching bag, her wallet, her
babysitter, her verbal abuse bucket, her maid, and often her excuse for all her problems.
Her jealousy is her cover for a low
self-image. The point is, you cannot raise her self-image for her.
HER VICTIM:
He is often well educated, financially secure, quiet, and non-confrontational. He takes the initial outbursts as emotional
situations or possibly even hormonal. As the
outbursts increase in frequency, duration and noise level he realizes his position, too
late. When they go out others seldom notice
anything different, as he’s always been quiet and shy.
She may gloat over him, and show him off to all her friends asking or
demanding various “tricks” of him, which he is expected to perform to
perfection. She may fawn over him
relentlessly causing him some discomfort, or she may fully ignore him causing him to
become preoccupied with why.
ABUSIVE HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND:
These are men who always demand that things be done “Just so,” for them.
What she may want or need is of little consequence, so long as her desires match his, or
she remains silent. If she attempts to speak of a problem or takes any issue or
concern to him, he will turn on her like a rabid beast, tossing accusations,
changing the subject and seeking to create a belief that he has bigger and
greater problems than whatever it is she is speaking of. He wants his dinner cooked perfectly, even if he did come home an hour
late, and didn't call to let her know. He may accuse her of screwing around on him, or
flaunt his affairs constantly. He will find problems with her appearance. Excuses might
range from she is too fat, too ugly, too stupid, too sluttish one moment ... And then he
claims, she's too hung up the next. He may ask her, or desire her, to dress a certain way.
Later he will accuse her of trying to turn everyone on, or of wanting the guy with the ...
Of her being turned on by being dressed like this, and intentionally having people stare
at her. Usually they will fight and then have sex. Physical and sexual assaults may be
provoked or not, but will happen with growing frequency.
These are men who have issues with women moving into a “male
oriented and dominated” world. They are
the males who would keep a woman locked up, without ever leaving the house if it was
possible. He’d like to have his woman
barefoot and pregnant while telling her he doesn’t believe the child is his. These men abuse on all levels, psychological,
emotional and physical. Removing these men
from your life is no easy task. Charges will
have to be laid, phone numbers changed, and you may even have to move to truly free
yourself of his un-solicited continued advancements and harassment.
Sexually these men tend to be in constant
overdrive, never satiated. They may encourage or demand she participate in activities
where she is not comfortable, whether alone or in the company of others. They
can be loud and boisterous men, intimidating without direct violence, they can
also be suave players who seem sweet and shy.
His sex drive and scrutiny of her is a cover
for his own, low self-image. The point is, you cannot raise his self-image for him.
HIS VICTIM:
Lacking self-esteem and confidence she has turned to perfecting herself and
changing her own focus’, drives and ambitions.
He often targets a victim who is gaining new legs or working on confidences
after departing a tenuous and stressful situation, or relationship. On the other hand he may seek out a very strong,
independent, and self-sufficient woman who he desires to humiliate, belittle and degrade. His goal is to have his victim believe she cannot
live without him, despite having done so until his arrival. The stronger the victim is, the greater the ego
boost at having reduced her to “nothing” over the course of his efforts. So he may opt for a weakened woman, or he may opt
for a stronger woman – The issue is how confident he is in his ability to manipulate,
brain wash and coerce.
ABUSE PATTERNS AND DOMINATION.
ABUSE PATTERN:
When you first meet an abuser they are
very understanding, loving, sweet, and kind people. They are generous with both their time
and money, but will chase you once they decide they want you, even if you never did give
them any signs that may have shown an interest. These are jealous and insecure people who
get their way by virtue of bullying. They may seem to care about the partner in the
beginning, however as things progress it becomes increasingly apparent that what you are
seeing isn't really care. Even when they appear to care, and be concerned for you and your
well being, it's usually the jealousy, coupled with their low self-image at work.
Most abusers have also learned that they get farther when they turn on the charm
and sweetness. Quite often these people who are just "too good to be
true," are. Slowly their constant charm and kindness begins to turn to anger
and aggression. Generally with the first few incidents their victim will opt to
appease the antagonist. As the severity of the incidents and their frequency
escalate the victim either begins to mentally crumble, or lash out. It is at this
point the brainwashing of the victim begins to transform them into the abuser's tool, and
willing victim.
This is the process by which abusers begin
the mental grinding, combining with physical and sexual assaults to slowly break down all
the victim's defenses. This pattern calls for a slow cornering both physically and
mentally of their chosen victim. However once fully complete the mental training, and
physical instilment gel, and combine into an elixir from which the chosen victim finds
freedom and release almost impossible.
The longer the relationship continues the
farther the self-esteem and image of the victim fall. The victim may attempt to leave the
relationship but such gestures are not taken lightly, and are generally unsuccessful upon
first attempt. Even if the victim escapes the physical grasp of their tormentor the mental
hold is not quite so easy to break from. Eventually, if the escapes continue to be
unsuccessful the attempts will stop and the victim will begin a steady mental downhill
slide.
DOMINATION PATTERN:
When you first meet with your top they
will most likely be quite patient, kind and
understanding of their bottoms. Gradually as you learn to have more trust in them they
demand more of you. Some tops will actively seek and chase their chosen toys, but not all;
some of them will make the bottom chase them. That is after all the idea of this isn’t
it?
These people have to care about you, if they
don't and all you are is play, or cash, you won't be around for very long, and they
(generally) won't be any good. I believe that those who are very talented and willing to
assist in training for a fee are not actually asking their client to pay for the
"time and services." But that what sets these rare gems of Dominance apart
from so many others, is that they willingly take on so many subordinates, and actually
view each client as a submissive of theirs. What the payments are perceived to be in
lieu of; is the lack of ability for the client to be able to submit and capitulate in
entirety and in full, to the wishes of the Dominant. It's a penalty, a fine, a
"tax." Not a payment in return for D/s activities. This is the
position I believe is most often taken by those who are consistently talented, and able to
attain high levels of emotional response in their clients.
Most tops, whether professional, personal or otherwise do not like their bottoms playing with other people. This is partly out of jealousy, but more often because they don't want any of their training unwittingly altered or sabotaged. It is also an issue of respect, of fidelity, of sharing such moments and emotional spaces as these, with only this person. Do not for a moment think you can flit from top to top without consequence. There is no pride in Owning one who is so flighty and undecided ...
Dominants will want your mind in their control before they move on to, trying for the body as well.
I believe, that many
people stay with abusers because they desire the domination element. Most of these people
however, may fail to see that. But I think that this does happen a lot more than people
suspect. I will agree that on first glance this would sound rather foolish. But to
actually take the mental, physical, and personal aspects into consideration, I'm
sure the correlation is easy to see. To then
compare the profiles, even the common misconceptions about domination. To take all
of that into consideration and find the parallels, it may not be too far fetched. Even the
sexual aspects intertwine. Most abuse involves assault, humiliation, or sex. In
domination (depending on the relationship) sex can immediately follow the session, be part
of the session, or be completely disallowed.
I was in one tops house
visiting, who always swore, no sex was involved with her clients. Swore it up, down and
sideways, NO SEX. So I go over to visit and she wants to show off the "Dungeon".
I suspected that she was a sexual assault
perpetrator who took great joy in sexually (anally) assaulting males. Somehow I suspected she had hidden the
implements, knowing I was coming over and was concerned I would know the truth – I
have a nasty habit of being very opinionated with people on these types of subjects. Her error was leaving a bowl of condoms out. I had already suspected, but then I saw this
evidence, and was aware of the adamant denials of sexual contact. I then spoke with others in the community in an
effort to confirm the suspicions of sexual assault, and was proven correct.
Many female dominants claim that the “ultimate
submission” is permission to anally penetrate their male “slaves.” Which causes one to wonder what shoving something
up a rear end has to do with capitulation of the heart or mind. Physical submission is not mental or
spiritual submission and the difference in the results is like the difference between
attending a church meeting where you “feel the power,” and sitting in your easy
chair reading a bible, like a book, and not getting a lot out of it other than a lot of
words that are really rather “stodgy.”
Which way do You want it to go? How much are You willing to put into the
entire experience to be able to feel that energy? How much will You be willing to
put into it farther down the line?
As a Dominant you must always be in search
of new ways to "tease and torment" Your bottom. If You know Your playmate and
their desires, this shouldn't be too tricky. Doing this You have to let them know that
they "don't stand a chance." While at the same time having them hope or consider
that there may still be a way... but how? They must find it; You will convince them they
must, for that is a good beginning.
The thing with being
Dominant or doing Domination is that the more that you do it the more at ease You become
with it, and the less You feel like something is expected of You. Be that sexually, in how
the scene goes, or Your personality. If however, someone during their visit does push You
too hard, the first alternative (assuming that you restrained them on entrance) is to lay
down rules. Then You inform them that if they take it upon themselves to break these rules
that the session will be finished... PERIOD. If on the other hand this very same person is
humble and sweet in Your company, should they behave, well then You might
consider allowing some small form of physical reward.
The most striking and obvious parallel
between abuse and domination that is immediately seen however, is the prevalence of the
single individual holding all of the control. Followed by the hot/cold or love/hate games,
and the disciplinary measures of both. Too often a slave will go to their
top trying to talk, wanting to tell Us, "You are hurting me ... " and too often
the top in question either ignores, chastises, or punishes their bottom for the
action, rather than praising them for having the strength to speak, and the
creativity to find an appropriate way of speaking. This is unhealthy, this
is unkind, and this is completely uncalled for.
An abusive relationship will require you justify, you substantiate, you
"prove," and you chase your tail.
A D/s relationship will require peace, balance, patience, never having to
justify, and always remaining at ease.
But there are tops out
there who are abusers, and chose to participate in order to find willing victims;
this is an undisputed fact. So, if you feel you
are being treated that way, talk to them. If you still feel as though that conversation
got you nowhere, get out.
Some tops do genuinely care about you, and even love you.
Some will encourage this love, and others will disdain from it. There are
those who use domination as an outlet to disguise their
abusive, or greedy sides into something they can get away with, or even have others find
appealing. The difference rests in the reasoning of the desire and a match of interests.
Then you need factor in the intention behind the beating, whether or not you do truly deserve it, and if the
severity is in true accordance with the infraction.
If by example your top
through experience knew that you could handle about ten minutes of heavy flailing, then
decided to give you twenty-five, for not taking off your shoes. Perhaps taking it to the
extent of while they were beating you, you "Zoned Out" (... or overloaded), but
they didn't notice, or decided to "try to pull you out of it by beating you
harder." If they didn't care, they just kept at it.
That's
abuse.
If they don't play safe with you, and are
therefore risking both your physical, and mental health, or if they don't take
you into consideration -
That's
abuse.
If someone is using dildo's or other penetration items, these items
should be labeled for the user, so the are not being cross-used, This is a
health concern and a responsibility issue. If the top is question is not
following safe sexual practice and putting you at risk ... That's abuse.
If you try to talk to them after a scene and
they seem to feel they were justified, or that you deserved it, or otherwise
simply refuse to absorb what you are telling them, while at the same time you
are trying to tell them that it was too much. The reply being, "You should
be pleased to have been of use to your Domina", or "You should be happy to take
this for/from your Mistress. " If this is the reply while you are trying to explain
your position, and this is their response ...
That's abuse.
Don't let
people mess with your mind to any great extent, that last example would verge on
brainwashing. Regardless of whether you stay with this top or not, you will still have to
live with yourself, and the memories of your experiences with that person, for the rest of
your life.
This
gets into the branding and tattooing issues as well. You may be single now, but that
marking may very well cause some questions, and problems for you in the future.
So, if the two of you decide that the top is
ready to own the bottom, and the bottom wants it as well, the issue becomes a mark. Both
of you agree an appropriate adornment must be decided on, the problem becomes that you
want something ritualistic, something personal, something permanent, yet, not
unforgivingly
so.
How about piercing? The rings are removable. Lower genital piercing
is quite endurable. When the rings are removed the piercings themselves are virtually
invisible. Best of all if the top decides that they have had enough of you and your
antics, they can demand their rings back!
This returning of the rings action, is very
psychological to the slave. Even if they do decide to keep wearing rings, they won't be
the ones given to them, from their top. Once the hole is healed; ring or not, the hole
will remain leaving a small but intelligible mark. One that both of you will always know
exists. Thus this is the least abusive and unobtrusive form of marking.
Whether permanent or temporary is up to the parties involved, it serves the
purpose but does far less damage psychologically or physically.
As tops let's try not to excessively put people down. There is a fine line that some people may like crossed on occasion. But the crossing of that line for the people who do enjoy it should be done with some degree of relevancy and tact. One of the most vital things to being Dominant as opposed to being domineering, or even abusive, is that gray matter located between the ears.
Slavery is about being strong and proud. Slavery is about knowing what you can take, and did take with this particular person. Slavery is about wishing for the next session to come quickly, and the excited fear. Slavery is about wanting to willingly give, about allowing yourself to express yourself as you never have, and enjoy the beauty you carry within yourself as a being who wishes to give of themselves and share that with another.
Abuse demeans slavery and the people who do it responsibly. If you feel that you are abused, leave. If you are in an abusive relationship, and are realizing that perhaps some of the intrigue may have been in the control or the domination, leave. If in retrospect the desire for domination is the case, then get out and find yourself a caring and responsible top. Go have some fun. That is the one thing that this is supposed to be about before all else... fun. If you can not talk to your spouse or mate about these things and are always getting excuses and laughter in response, leave. If you are being pushed far beyond your capacity and that capacity is not being acknowledged, leave. You are responsible, for you - Always.
I talked about "Zoning Out"
earlier.
This is when a person develops a catatonic state while in active session, and it can and does happen. Some tops
believe that it is the bottoms responsibility to use their safe word before they get to
that point. Some believe that if you do reach that state they are released from obligation
to your safety, as you are unable to respond to them. Some claim they didn't realize.
Wrong. Wrong. And Nice Try.
If You have never experienced, or seen this complete state of mental and physical paralysis you simply cannot comprehend it. If You have, then You realize that Your first and foremost obligation is to "Your pet." This kind of complete mental loss, i.e. brain no longer in body, makes You, the top 100% responsible to your bottom. The reasons for Your slave exhibiting this type of shutting down might be attributed to a few things;
First there is the
possibility that You were striking the person too hard and too fast. This doesn't allow
them time to appropriately physically assimilate, and absorb, the blows; which
in turn causes mental collapse.
The other option is that in Your state of control loss (genuinely or seemingly), You
scared them into shutting down. In this case the person believes there is no point in
speaking up, or by the time they decide to, they can't.
Possibly Your bottom in this show of
submission which You have pushed so hard for, decided they would do their best for You. Except,
by the time they realize they are in trouble, it's not possible for them to speak, or
release a ball held in a hand. It was the effort to please You, which has placed them
there. It is Your responsibility to bring them back from it safely, slowly, gently -
Without demands or berating. Be a rebel! Try a little praise, if for nothing else - The
attempt.
The other side of this is that You may be
playing with someone who has suffered a traumatic incident in their past. Which doesn't
necessarily mean You have created a new one, it may just mean that You returned them to
those memories.
On the other hand this may indeed have created a new one, and further play should be taken
very slowly.
Regardless of the current state of the scene or session, it can always end happily, Your
"job" is to make sure it does.
This physical and mental place called "Zoning Out" causes your bottom to completely freeze up. They can not speak, they can not drop a ball - Taken to an absolute extreme they can not move at all. How someone fails to notice the lack of response in a bottom is beyond My comprehension. Should they be this inattentive and un-involved I begin to wonder what they are doing in the session in the first place.
People out there in
general think of "Gang Bangs" and related experiences such as fisting to be
violent and demeaning - Even abusive. They don't have to be, nor should they be. The
mental side of these types of activities should focus on "bringing out the slut or
pervert", in Your toy. If the person conversely suffers from a very low self image
... Then this many people being around them, desiring them, telling them how sexy they are
should help them resolve some of that. Remember to gently urge, to encourage, to praise.
Temper the disappointment and upset with kindness and this will help your bottom to know
you are noticing the improvements. It will help them to strive harder for the smiles, the
kind gestures and the rewards of service to you. Kindness placed at the right moments, an
ignored fault instead of a chastisement, a reward even if everything that day went so
terribly wrong - All of these things reward you well. Remember berating is ok, but real
improvement only comes with reward, praise, and attention to the corrected issues.
As taken from Webster's
Dictionary;
Dominant - prevailing
Dominate - rule or control
Egomania - self obsession
Egocentric - thinking of oneself as the object of all experiences
Insecure - troubled by anxiety and apprehension; threatened; not securely guarded; unsafe;
liable to break, fail or collapse.
An abuser or self centered, insecure, egomaniac, control freak, is the type of person who will grab you the moment they see you walk in without a dominant. They are the ones who demand you do as they say now, and place you in a position where you feel you can not decline them. Next week when you would be able to have time to stand back and watch their behavior they know you would never tolerate the abuse and demeaning. Abusive dominants are often someone who will tell you their version of a story, situation, or reality, and not permit you to investigate further. The type of person who tells you, you are not to speak to others about things, nor are you to grow or change in any manner. Someone who puts blinders on you and refuses to answer your questions. They must be the center of all experiences.
A dominant, on the other hand, will tell you their version of the reality, situation, or story and encourage you to go out and investigate for yourself. They encourage you to ask questions, and keep that mind sharp. They are patient, and will take their time in claiming you and taking you as their own. They want you to respect them and come to them of your own choice - Not be forced into the situation. A dominant is someone who will permit you (even want and encourage you) to grow and change - And rather than control the entire situation chooses to control the outcome of it. Through this process they will show, and teach you, why their view, or way, is the better one. They needn't make you deaf and blind to things. They are confident in their ability to be prevailing, ruling and in control.
The point is; Regardless of the situation or of the positions of the players - Regardless of anything else ... You are always responsible for, and answerable to yourself. Don't let it get out of hand. Sex is sex, kink is kink, D/s is D/s, and the abuse within Our community needs be addressed, and stopped. Be aware of it, be intolerant of it, and most of all be a help to those working to help and change this problem. We can get to the finish line if we work together and take this journey one step at a time ... We won't make it if we spend all of our time and energy facing off against each other: Stop the abuse within the community, and know what abuse truly is, so that you can.
" About Slavery " a copy righted manuscript; copyright 1994, 2000,
2001, 2005 D.Vyne...
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