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   This is a very misunderstood and thus neglected subject, or a strange one at the very minimum, and it’s high time someone took the time to look at it in at least a general, over viewing brief fashion.  So let’s go there, and see what we can find.

 You want your slave (bottom) to be pliable, yet strong.  You want them to be yielding to new desires, temptations, and sensations yet still desiring most of the old ones, so that You can build upon them.  You want the bottom to be to be resilient, impenetrable and at the same time desire them to succumb, to dissolve, to crumble.  Admittedly, this is (psychologically) a very weird combo.
  The desire of Your slave (bottom) should reside in pleasing their Master/Mistress (Top).  In so doing they succeed in receiving their reward.  This trait can be naturally apparent in some slaves, but it generally requires Your work and assistance in heightening the tendency.
  This "improvement" is something that is accomplished by, and rests in; Your ability to "best" them psychologically.  Dialogue is the only immediate way to do that.  Therefore You must find an appreciation for the workings of the human mind.  Control it, subdue it and gently claim responsibility of the workings of the one to which You are laying hold.  Do not rush in, do not behave as a boor, do not take advantage, and You will be rewarded well.
  Most Tops desire their bottoms to be humble and proud at the same time, as well; this is to say that they should be proud of being slave (perhaps particularly to this Top), but humble before their "God."  A bottom should never be shown or given cause to despise their collar, but rather be shown and given reasons to be proud of the position which they so deftly fill, and the humility to be getting the work done efficiently and with grace is nothing to be ashamed of either.  A smiling "God," is the ultimate goal of a servile soul.

  Don't go getting all panicky on Me for that.  The similarities are there - the bible is found in the rules, the philosophies, the doctrines and the thou shalts and thou shall not's.  The church is their home, the sanctuary the Dungeon. When speaking with Them, one should be on their knees, and address Them properly, by title, with respect and humility.  A bottom may bring their pleas before the altar, but the finality of the desires rest in Their choices, and whims therefore making Them the "God."  I draw this parallel at this point because I find that a striking number of people within the community who seek these types of activities out actively as an adult; were at some point in their childhood lives very religious.  Most individuals had at least one parent who was excessively so, perhaps to the point of obsession or abuse.

  I believe this transition to a world of fetish and D/s occurs because as people mature they find a certain chaos they didn't have in their youth.  Looking back they see that the one item, which was present, was the religious doctrines, which they as adults however have no desire to follow.  At that point in their lives they had written rules to live by, a guide (preacher/parent) to tell them if they are living their lives in a "good or bad" way, the trick is now in finding an adult alternative which appeals to them.  The appeal however lies in the realization that at that point in life things were mentally pretty simple, it was easy to know where they stood with whom, and how they were doing in life.  There was no moral or ethical dilemma because the rules were clear, and the path was well defined.
   Do this and thus, do that and so.
  As they became older, however for whatever reasons they left the church, and the safe guidelines behind them.  Now they come seeking You, as a Top to give them a new set of rules, a new bible, a philosophy, a sanctuary, and a doctrine to hold to.  A believable one, one that makes sense and is intelligent.  Cause and effect; action and reaction; law and order. Do this and so, do this and thus.
  There is another group who have a certain appreciation and enjoyment for the ritual, the inner sanctum type of security and acceptance.  These are souls on a spiritual quest of inner peace and enlightenment, sexuality is merely a single point on a many-spoked wheel and You as a Top represent the only possible method they perceive as willing and able to undertake such an evolution and exploration.  This soul was birthed in service and will die in service, who they serve is not of consequence to them; so long as they do serve.  These are the souls, which most require the nurturing, and protection of an enlightened Top who follows the ideals of the new paradigm.

   Another group or type of similarity that I find is that the people who chose this adventure, who often tend to be in positions of power and or control, themselves.  This can range from the home businessperson to the tycoon to the accountant, who is held answerable.  These people are seeking a temporary remittal of the decision process.
  They have enough concerns, responsibility and power and just for a little while, for a couple of hours or the weekend if You might help them to turn off their brain, to unsaddle that weight, and to put the petty problems into perspective You become all the things that are perfect and right in the world, and a living representation of sense and integrity. 
  They play with power and the lives of others for real every day, do not for a moment think You are truly in control, but realize the willing suspension of belief is there, if they are willing to give it to You, if not - there is no point to the relationship, as they will remain forever focused on other matters and issues.  Your goal, Your ideal with a bottom who is a position of power themselves is to empower them even further to provide a perspective, an opinion otherwise unexplored.  Not to manipulate his wallet, and if You do that and do it well, there is no need to manipulate, the thanks will come.

  There is also the group which were once in the military, who have been released and are now seeking an order to the chaos, a voice of command, someone to help with the readjustment to the outside civilian world of mayhem after living through so much brainwashing and supreme order; which in the end is proven to be pointless.  The perfectionism is insanity, the speed is amazing, the grace and fluidity is superb, and the psychological landmines are so prolific its sick.  These souls were born to follow a chain of command, to take orders, to seek no glory; they derive a sense of accomplishment from ticking off the list of duties accomplished, in pushing themselves, in attaining the higher goal, in working together as a unit and a company. 
  Your goal is to give this soul a reachable target, but not one that is attained with ease, they are used to being pushed, to being shown little reason to endure, and even less reward for a success.  Test the body, the mind, the perfectionism, push the limits, force the mind, the heart the soul, and a solider will continue to serve You, to ready for the next campaign, and to take up Your cause.  Be sure it is worthy of winning for a true warrior will not give up the fight for that goal, nor the Commander easily.  Do that, and you have a soldier who will follow You to the ends of the earth, and fight for Your every cause.

  The next possible group is found married and unhappy.  They will tell You how in their current marital situation they do not feel their partner is coming to a reasonable level of satisfaction, and have come to You because they simply desire to please another.  Be that in their sex lives, the friendship, or the working relationship, You will have to ask to be clear and do not assume they will be truthful.  When this occurs they tend to be looking for someone they can SERVE AND PLEASE.  The difference between You and the spouse being found in the fact that even if it is only occasionally; they do manage to please You.  Perhaps they might even manage to think of a way to do this on their own and not mess it up.  This is another group of service-oriented slaves.  They would be just as pleased to be scrubbing the bathroom, running errands for You, dealing with house maintenance and upkeep, and being praised (and probably more so) than they would be, being sexually gratified and thus cheating on the mate. 

  Your goal with this variety of individual is to give them tasks, which they will accomplish and succeed at.  You can push them, you can encourage them, however if You berate and chastise this lot You are likely to find they will seek their comfort and solace elsewhere.  Sexually I would not get involved as this soul is prone to attachment and projection and is likely to leave their spouse imagining You are madly in love with them and desire them.  Stay distant enough to remain non-threatening, but close enough to have the reward and praise appreciated.  If you do that you have a willing and happy househusband without upkeep or maintenance.

  Not to be omitted are the individuals out there who see this as a way to either face the demons of their past, or are with your assistance, repeating a severe psychological or emotional trauma.  These people are the riskiest to play, scene or deal with.  You don't know where their triggers truly lay or what will set them off, good, bad, or indifferent.  The smallest nuance is a risk, while the slightest comment may set someone off.  This is not an easy task to undertake to scene with a shattered soul; so, unless You have a very in-depth knowledge of psychology; a natural tendency, desire and ability to heal; and an innate bearing of domination and what You are doing, for the betterment of both of you ... You might want to suggest therapy.
  These traumatized people are seeking any number of variables, through and in You.  Ranging from whether or not they can ever do anything right, or well enough to please someone, and finally attain the praise they never attained in the relationship they seek to mimic.
  To erroneously believing that if they put themselves physically and mentally through the same experience time and again, that eventually the “discomfort,” will not bother them so much.

  To seeking that angry yet loving parent they once knew, and seeing if they can have them just love them and not be angry with them anymore.  They may be seeking a forgiveness, which is not Yours to give, or harboring hatred and resentments that they subconsciously expect You to either help them be rid of, or finally, they are looking for someone else to take it out on.
  Some will come to you who have been abused and who seek to revisit the moment because the act excited them even if the situation didn’t; because the sexuality was fun, but the assaults weren’t; because even though dad was mean there was no feeling in the world to equate to that first hug from mom afterwards; because this time when You (playing the role of Aunt Lisa), go to play with his parts under the table with Your sexily stockinged toes … This time he will tell, not just sit there idly, he will enjoy.

  There have been slaves who have appeared before a Top, and who have revisited their moments, and in so doing were able to face their personal moments of angst and anguish, and come out the other side of it doing far better than anyone might have supposed.  Common modern psychology has humanity of the belief that we are to avoid these things and not encourage a “hands on,” approach to the healing and self-preservation of spirit and soul.  Many within our community would adamantly disagree with this stance.

  If this is done properly, therapeutically – This type of scene can give Your ailing bottom back the control in their life.  It is not to be undertaken by everyone and anyone, and it’s not the sort of thing to undertake without knowledge, understanding and full responsibility for the outcome, but it is quite possible and an amazingly beautiful thing when it does happen.
  If You do not have the understanding, the knowledge, the desire and ability to help this soul and heal them You will be working in an effort to further entrench and solidify habits, tendencies, and patterns of far worse than a merely self-destructive nature, but a slow decaying death as sure as the likes of heart cancer.
  Be warned that should You succeed and assist them in healing their wounds, in moving forward in their life with a comfort and grace they have not previously known – The odds are slim they will return to You, as You have succeeded in the task at hand, the demon is buried, the peace attained.
  They may return with new dilemmas or problems but as You address and answer to each one, they will let go of the old habits and permit these once driving fetishes or other behaviours to fall by the wayside and the space between visits will lengthen until the point when Your wee trauma case no longer returns to You, but is fully free.

  The other possibility is that the individual; is coming to you because they feel or find that they are personally out of control, in a way and manner that few others would comprehend.  Some of these people may be sexually deviant, some will be behaviourally deviant (obsessive compulsive), both hope You have some secret way to get them under control, and keep them there.
  But they aren’t there for You to constantly manage, these people; are simply hoping that You will accept responsibility and control of them for an indefinite period, and that in turn, they will come to find newfound strength, ability, desire, or reason to regain control of themselves.   This elitist group of souls may have obvious behavioral problems or very discreet and more personal ones, like excessive or constant masturbation, obsession with Women’s undergarments to the point of causing them discomfort, gender inappropriate behaviour (Woman desires to rape a man, man desires to dress like Woman at the office). 
  Not all cross dressers, or Female penetrators are of this mindset, I am speaking in terms of those with an obsessive-compulsive behaviour, which they do not desire to continue with, that has cause to bring them much grief and angst.   Again these problems are quite differing in their complexity, frequency, and invariably the need for the behaviour modification can be quite varied.  The issues either perceived or real can range from punctuality problems, to listening inability, inability to restrain ones self in regard to sociologically inappropriate comment, contact, or conduct, to problems with following direction or orders, they may want to hurt someone in either a physical or mental fashion and may be feeling both excited and appalled at the thought, or they may simply be feeling temporarily lost and in need of guidance.

  Whatever the reason; these people are coming to you for help, guidance and support, they are struggling against a fight they battle within themselves that they fear losing.  And in losing this battle they will lose themselves, giving themselves up unknowingly, unwittingly unequivocally to One who would take advantage of, or further mistreat them.

     Psychologically these people are very weak and hope that You become their lost strength, and the bearing they need to create a meaningful direction in their life.  You can opt to use this power and ability they grant You; constructively, or not.  Whatever Your ultimate final choice and response, all of these people will at some point however "come awake," to Your actions and responsibility or lack thereof.  If; while You have been in this position of responsibility, and authority You acted and reacted appropriately, responsibly, with compassion; and provided the groundwork for future experiences of pleasure and enjoyment, You will be rewarded with a bottom who truly has little desire to do anything other than please You.  After all, when they were most vulnerable and easy prey, You guided them responsibly, without preying upon the weakness  ... If You did that when they were most exposed, then they have no reason to fear or distrust what You will continue to do with them, after all You have done no ill to this point.

  There are many people within our community who practice this lifestyle to varying degrees of frequency and depth of involvement.  Some of the personality types can be rather interesting to deal with, as they will not be presenting themselves fully honestly. 
  You will  find in Your involvement with the leather community that the majority of those involved in our activities and scenes, are suffering from mild mental imbalances, not severe enough to warrant other forms of therapy.  They are socially acceptable, and fully functional.  To many; the difficulties may not be readily noted, seen, or discovered, however as You are working on a very different level than is accustomed You may be prone to noticing the idiosyncrasies quicker than others.
  Many of those who we work with have opted to find their answers in places other than mainstream psychology, because they do not desire to be carriers of the unacceptable labels, nor do they desire to subject themselves to treatments, which fail to provide adequate solution, or encourage feelings of community, therapy, acceptance, while fostering a possibility of positive experience.

  You have more power in Your hands than You know, and You have to be aware of this and willing to look at the realities which You would explore and expose Your subject/s to.  We must all be willing to take responsibility for the outcome of not just the scene, but also the resulting mental mayhem, which is prone to appearing, and begin demanding someone answer to the problem.
  This is far more than a simple sexual game of checkers, played by equally able opponents.  The first thing to be realized is that; odds are, as crazy as You consider Yourself to be, those who would bottom You are going to be far more “dazed and confused” than You want to know at this point.  Not all of the Tops out there are top drawer type quality either, and many who wish to be counted as “in control” are in truth in control of little other than the frequency and reliability with which they take their medications.

  Being clear both ways Top to bottom and bottom with the top is absolutely vital to a productive and healthy evolution of the relationship.  The solutions do not lie in extricating the people with the dilemma, but rather in exploring the possibilities they represent, and discovering the truth of the situation is usually not of the chemical imbalance nature, but I believe to be more of a pattern of behaviour, a method of survival, and a very erroneous set of morals and ethics imposed by a society which is senseless and without social awareness. 
  These people are our children, our eternal infants in perpetual need of counsel, guidance and advice.  They need Us to care for and protect them from a world which has done little but take advantage of their lesser positions.  Mainstream has no space, time or patience for them, nor for You, do not sit in judgment, but sit in a place of assistance and direction and this will serve both of You well.
  What You are responsible for, and being asked to provide is acceptance, compassion, advocacy, and teaching of more personally profitable and appropriate sociological behaviour, thinking and response.

  Taking a weaker being and mashing them into the ground is not in the equation, so don’t do it.  If You decline this advice and opt to do this, be aware that one day Someone who follows the new paradigm will find You, and it won’t be a bottom who becomes the proverbial thorn in Your side.
  Play fair and to the level which Your playmates are capable, but in the cases of the lesser mental ability, never a hair width beyond.

  In having explained to You many of the reasons that the bottoms appear before You seeking this type of activity We are able to move on to what it is they are then seeking.  And You will find that 9 out of ten will give you that they seek; Remittal of Control.
  Again there are variable answers to why this is; but Your subject will either desire to control or be controlled.  Not all of the bottoms are so easily and willingly able to give over this control however as those people and incidents of their past have taken advantage, caused fear, or confusion, and although the desire is inherent, the problems this person has associated hand-in-hand with their desire will  result in a bottom who seems to be less than willingly forthcoming.
  Ultimately however I do believe that it is a desire to be controlled, to give over the decisions, the responsibility, the direction to One who is willing to take that and keep it safe for the bottom, until such a time as they are once again ready and able to carry on themselves.  Just sometimes it is harder for one person to give that over than the next.
  If you expect the same level of subservience, ability and commitment from all of Your slaves, be it in respect to obedience or discipline, You will be very disappointed.  Each of them can only offer You as much as they have to give, try to remember that.  They have come to You because You are all the things mainstream is not, do not become all the things which cause them that fear and apprehension, and You will have no difficulty.

  When a bottom is wrong, or has done wrong they expect to be told as much, and they expect to be punished in an appropriate and befitting manner.
  Most slaves will enjoy being humbled into the animals that they truly feel they are, as animals never have to decide anything other than when to hit the watering trough.  Whether You find them to be a horses ass, pig headed, mule stubborn, dog brained or just plain chicken, let them know this with a light heart and laughter.  Show them, remind them, laugh a little, show them, remind them and watch those cow or puppy dog eyes appear.

  The end goal regardless of the personality, mentality, or slave type is that you continue to remind and illustrate to the bottom on a regular basis that they are currently less able or lower evolved than You are.  Gently and kindly work to show them their flaws and the errors of their ways, the same errors that have them before You seeking Your assistance in order to rectify the malady, to seek solace, to gain acceptance, not a label.
  But in so doing You must also find ways of accomplishing the task given You, in a manner that does not continue the erosion of the individuals self esteem, but which shores up the current decay and works in an effort to rebuild the former collapses of self-respect, self-responsibility, and self-consciousness.  Perhaps they have a tendency to make bad decisions about their personal life, or they allow work to intrude upon their private lives, relationships and time.  Perhaps they find they are ill equipped to deal with the on-going or long-term results of their decisions or actions, or lack of them. Thus they come to You, for when it comes time for them do deal with the “effect” part of the “cause and effect, they are unprepared to decide or act quickly, and again this is where You come in, with bells on, and for pity sakes people there is truly no need for a grand entrance in such instances, just being there when needed is the goal.  Staying put requires no reentrance.

  There are those among us as well who do not belong among our numbers.  For whatever reason some of the members of our community seem to find it amusing to “pollute the innocent,” to manipulate those who are not of this cloth, to “sucker,” those who believe they are above and beyond the interest.

  I have three words for you – CUT – IT – OUT.

  As discussed through this manuscript the issue of dominance and submission is a daily occurrence, as also mentioned many people harbour or carry in innate and driving sexual fetish, kink or desire.  Do not make the automatic assumption or jump to the conclusion that thus everyone will need, desire, feel the push to be a bottom, nor should you be encouraging the behaviour among those who are simply “interested.”  Educate, allow them to come to their own conclusions, but be conscious of the amounts of manipulation, assault, mental abuse and mismanagement, which currently occurs within our ranks.

  Encouraging the transition of those within the Vanilla community and the overt and intentional manipulation of their sexuality, or fetish in a seductively covert manner; whether dominant or submissive and inflicted upon the dominant or submissive is a behaviour overly particular to the community which needs be addressed and abolished.  Misleading others in the community via the manipulation and the perversion of otherwise innocuous tendencies by anyone is a tactic and behaviour of a less than honourable nature.  If You have no honour in Your method of securing a bottom, You will have no honour in Your handling of them. 

  There are also Those among Us who are aware of this other concern, and have asked that I speak a little about those of You who do this with full intent of abuse and misuse; 
  To take an otherwise healthy, happy adult who is without mental issue or concern and to twist this person into knots is not psychologically sound behaviour on Your part, but rather displays a socio-pathic nature, an abusive and terribly derogatory mindset, and an insulting bearing to all those around You.  You specifically target these people because You are aware of their inability to cope with the extremes and excess’ of Our world, and Our tendencies.  You are conscious of the fact that those You expose and “pollute,” will carry with them a certain inherent inability to vacate the situation (You), the fetish, or desire, or need once You have developed this in them.  This isn’t a compliment, this isn’t “proof of the fact they are slave.”  What it is however is a testament to what a good abuser You are.  For just as the child of an abusive parent will always seek to please and appease the parent in a bid for their own happiness and fulfillment, so is this person who came to You happy, healthy, and sound, do not force Your mental mayhem upon another who is desiring no more than a simple stroll through the park, to force them into a 400 mile hike is completely unconscionable, and those who participate in this stupidity need be reprimanded and addressed by the community proper.  We all know those who prefer vanilla’s do so because they are fully uneducated neophytes and as they are without knowledge or understanding, they are very easy to destroy. The issue is there should be no such destruction taking place.  There should be construction, there should be positive and empowering; not destruction and annihilation.

  If you are a person reading this who has been a victim to one of these people, who is currently dealing with one of these people, or who knows one of these people, please make sure to loudly address it in the community and with others around you.  You are not alone, you will be understood and listened to, and if you are not, then be aware your community is fully contaminated with the abusive and detrimental mindset of archaic and de-evolutionary practices.
  If you are among the first to undertake to live by this enlightened paradigm, you quickly find that many “long standing community members” will not appreciate you.  These are the same people who are of the firm belief  that their methods and ways are historically correct, useful, and proven to be worthy of continuance.  If however you continue to oppose and work with it, you will find that you are not alone in this perspective and belief of excessive abuse and manipulation within our ranks.
  It is time to awaken to the possibilities, to stand up, and to clean up our own behaviours and practices so that we might move into the future as a viable and positive group as opposed to a group of barbarians with a chip on their shoulder.

  And little wonder we are perceived in this manner by a world which itself is as messed and confounded as the bottoms, and as misdirected and clouded as most of the Tops. 
  Stop – The – Presses!!!
  Mainstream psychology doesn’t even begin to grasp the scope of their own stupidity.  They have not yet figured out how to fix any of the number of mental disorders and maladies which plague mankind historically, let alone contemporarily.  The accepted answer of mainstream mentality is to medicate – medicate – medicate … How is it that We a bunch of admitted Barbarians, dressed in studded leathers and carrying various clubs and weapons expect to gain their understanding?  Are you genuinely stupid, or just feigning ignorance?  I mean really kids, lets not candy coat this.

  To put this in a context which you might understand:  You are an adult dealing with a small child of about the age of seven who refuses top grow and evolve past a point of self-serving into a point of responsibility.  How do I mean this?  Ok … You are the adult who is self responsible, who knows better, who understands this world so very much better than the mainstream thinkers and subscribers do right? 
  Now – staying with this theory you are in effect telling this small child to go make friends, and be involved in the world around them, without thinking and reflecting upon the fact that to date you have as the adult forever been at their side, and so the small child (vanilla society) runs off in a bid to find friends, just as You suggest, to understand, to appreciate.  Except for that brief moment while You were paying for the ice cream cone that small child was approached by another small child who encouraged them to come play!

  You turn around and this small person is gone without a trace, You panic, You yell, You freak out, and a little while later this individual You were guiding appears.  By this point You are fit to kill.
  The child does not understand why You are peeved, as You’d said “Go make friends, learn, understand.”  What You as the supposedly more thinking and responsible adult failed  to add was; “But do not wander off first without permission or having let Me know where you’re going.”  One, and two “Do not go inside of people’s houses – ever,” all You said was … Go make friends.
  Right now we are the parents who are only partially explaining this to the “kids” out there, and we will never attain that required acceptance and understanding if we continue to relay half the guidelines in an effort to retain control.  We can not hope to be able to have people fathom that which they are not shown, taught, and have proven to them.  We can not continue operate under a veil of abuse while purporting healing and growth, the input is simply not matching the output here people. 
    The game of domination and submission is not completely unlike the game of chess.   It is beautifully intricate and played differently with each respective game and person.  Each game, move or capitulation to You is also different.  There are times when You will  think that getting something to occur as You'd like, will not be unlike trying to correctly orchestrate the arrival, set up, opening, playing of, re-packing and moving to the next booking of Your local three ringed circus ... Without any help.  In  order for that to be accomplished without malady or disgrace You need to sit down and figure out what Your next move, or series of moves will accomplish, and how to go about doing that, with contingencies.  Do not walk into this blind thinking it’s all about kink it’s not.  The moral of the story is that you want to succeed in checkmating the actually useful, and interested bottom, before they checkmate themselves directly out the door.

  In one session You can expect to make extreme headway and the next to be lucky if You make two moves.   People are individuals and they seek individual treatment.  Never make the mistake of assuming that because something worked with one bottom, or situation that will thus succeed in working with the next one of a similar nature.  It may or it may not, but You have to be prepared for all of the outcomes, reactions, and variables.  Humiliation, verbal abuse, degradation, cuckoldry, flagellation, even capitulation are a personal thing, thus requiring different things from either party in each case in order to be enjoyed fully.
  Determining the different personality types that I listed for you at the outset of this chapter may help You in determining what to do in order to achieve the correct method of attaining their submission.  Submission should never be forced upon, nor beaten into someone, nor should it be coerced, manipulated or created where it is not.  It is a mental stimulation long before it should become a physical one.  I mentioned earlier in the chapter as well that the most immediate way to mentally best someone was verbally.  This is accomplished in letting them know who is the quicker thinker. 
As an example, an actual discussion; 

MISTRESS (throwing a collar down in front of the slave):
"What is that?"
SLAVE: "A collar Mistress."
MISTRESS: "And what does a collar belong on?"
SLAVE: "me Mistress!"
MISTRESS: "Why would it belong on you?  I have no memory of having accepted you as My slave."
SLAVE: "Sorry Mistress"
MISTRESS: "A collar belongs on a dog.  On a pet, a play thing.  What do you wish to be to Me?"
SLAVE: "Your obedient and humble slave Mistress."
MISTRESS: "And just exactly what is a slave?"
SLAVE: "A pet mistress. A toy Mistress."
MISTRESS: "Then you do also realize that as a toy I would want to have more than one to keep me amused.  As a pet I would want you to have a buddy.  In saying as much I hope that you weren't expecting to be an "exclusive." You weren't hoping to be the only one."
SLAVE: "No Mistress."
MISTRESS: "Then as one of many, how would you stand out from the others play thing?"
SLAVE: "i don't know Mistress."
MISTRESS: "No special talents or abilities?"
SLAVE: "No Mistress. But i can offer You undying loyalty and devotion."
MISTRESS: "LOYALTY AND DEVOTION?  Isn’t this one married?  If I were to move to the other side of the country would you move there as well?  Would you continue seeing Me as often as if I were here?  And if your wife were ever to find out, you'd run off from Me then as well, wouldn't you?  That's lie one."
SLAVE: "But Mistress..."
MISTRESS: "Look if you were speaking to a five year old or teenager of yours and they didn't tell you the truth in such a manner that it was completely honest is that not a lie?"
SLAVE: "Yes Mistress."
MISTRESS: "Then that was one.  So if you can think of no way that you can make yourself stand out in the kennels, then why ever would I want to keep you?"
SLAVE: "i don't know Mistress. i would be loyal and devoted to You though Mistress-"
MISTRESS: "Yes, for as long as it suited you slave.  Is everything to be about you, slave?  I should think not.  You are here to serve and pleasure Me, not yourself.  Do you have a problem with that, worm?"
SLAVE: "No i don't Mistress." 

  Thus you have created the groundwork for a mental greyhound race.  You have laid a very tight course, and made Yourself, and Your ideals the ever elusive rabbit.  In this type of discussion it is imperative that You are clearly showing the other person who is to be in control.  If by no other means and methods than by virtue of the fact that You are quicker, more adept and deeper thinker than they are.  This is something that is best accomplished with no swearing or derogatory language, very little belittling, and no yelling.
  I have been known to carry on this type of discussion on the first meeting with someone, for over an hour, playing mental chess, one move at a time, one step at a time, slowly and deliberately back into a corner.  By the end of that hour they're sweating and shaking like You wouldn't believe (when done properly), and I know that the next time the bottom is in My sights we will be far more productive and there will be no issue of who is indeed in control.  In this conversation the subject of ownership, control, desire and sufficiency all came up, and were just as quickly cast aside in an effort to portray the true item of significance in the discussion; Truth, honesty and control. 
  Specifically to speak on the issue of the matter of the untruth told by Your opposition; these things need to be caught and addressed with force of import early on, in order to create an alternative behaviour pattern in Your bottom.  Of course the other option is to opt to keep Your mouth shut and cornering them (knowing the problem with them keeping the "vow"), at a future later date.  But do not take this method and cry of people playing games with You, You have created the pattern Yourself.  Remember this.

  The mental aspect works best on those situations when you want the bottom thinking just so.  The physical implementation of having them break their word however seems to only succeed in teaching them to sneak around.  Like I said, be careful what You as the teacher, teach – It’s prone to backfiring on You and to dispose of a bottom at this point because of Your Own training errors is not only irresponsible and abhorrently reprehensible it is unforgivable, a crime of the mind – One day I hope the favour is returned to You in some form or manner.
  I will mention again that many of the people who desire to be dominated seem to have the common thread of low self-esteem, and differing levels of mental disorder running through the group as well.  Do try to hold that in mind when playing, scening, or otherwise dealing with all members of the community.  Just because someone seems happy, doesn't mean that they are, it may just be Your perception, or their desire to please You being reflected back.

  We need become aware of the repercussions of Our actions, we need be responsible for the results of Our actions and errors, whether unknowingly inflicted, and especially where intentionally abusive, threatening, coercive, manipulative, or otherwise undesired and enforced.

  People come to the choice of slavery because it represents a form of security, community, acceptance, support and gratification, which is not otherwise available and accepted outside of our ranks.  This is holy ground, treat it as such and the bottoms will respond accordingly.
  In the case of someone who you desire to do something but they are unreceptive, you again have two aspects to work from. The physical and the mental.

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