" About Slavery " a copy righted manuscript; copyright 1994, 2000, 2001, 2005   D.Vyne...  and hosted on sinpages.com  Please - Do not reprint, repost, or otherwise duplicate these files in full, or in part without express written authorization of the copyright holder, to do so is to risk criminal persecution and contempt of the community at large.  If you replicate without consent, the rest of your site is trash - Safe - Sane - Consensual - Fun - Between adults - keep it healthy.


RULE 1 ... NEVER claim you have no limits
RULE 2 ... Know what is important to you within the scene, what you would like to do and where you want to be taken.

  We as human beings all have very different desires, views and feelings.   Hopefully by the time that you get around to actually negotiating a scene you have some idea as to what you really want, or need - At least within the context of a scene.
  You should be able to voice your desires either verbally, or in writing.  Your ability to do this effectively, will in turn dictate how pleasurable the scene is for you.
  You should be communicating not only the activities, but the roles you would like to try, the emotions you desire to find.  If you have any fetishes you'd like to experiment with, clothing preference (on either of you), or even a specific attitude.  These are all items which you may decide are important within your scene.  Timing may be a vital part of your desire, or locations, or the people involved ... 
  Check your fantasies for recurring thoughts, or new and creative ones.  And then decide what parts of those thoughts are the most appealing to you, and which parts of it are just fluff.  Once you have established that you will need to concentrate upon which of these thoughts you are willing to share and act out with this other person.

  Please do keep in mind that just because you are willing and able to play in this manner that your playmate may not be.

  It is important that both sides respect each others limits.
  Not just create a space with one partner expressing their desires (bottom) and the other (top) following along the proverbial dotted lines.

  You must be clear on your desires and hopefully have some idea as to the desired outcome.  There are any number of variables and outcomes for any scene, any number of desired feelings.  If you are able to express to your playmate the feelings you wish to encounter they will be better able to make the situation a fulfilling one, from either end.
  If there are words you want to hear, that you know will put you in a certain mental state, tell your playmate.  Anything which might assist in the beginning is of great help.
  Once you get to know each other better you will probably find that the negotiation part of things takes a back seat to the play. But in the beginning you should expect to do lots of soul searching, and talking. This is a big part of why those first months of communication are so vital in attaining the relationship you desire and need.  If this is done and followed properly you will have negotiated your scenes through simple conversation and communication, often not even realizing it's been done, and heard, and accepted.
  You are two people who are learning about each other in a most personal and intimate fashion.  Not just intimate sexually, but intimate in a mental and even spiritual fashion.  You as the submissive must understand that you need to divulge everything you can to your dominant about everything that makes you tick.  Trust is the vital component, and talk creates understanding ... Which in turn creates trust.

  At some point you might come up with a specific scene idea that you'd like to try out ... Most tops will give the notion some thought if it appeals to them, and is creative.  However one should never expect anything from their Dominant.
  The idea after all is to expect the unexpected and never know what might be happening next.
  Thus if you find yourself accurately predicting 50% or more of your Dominants actions or reactions, if you find yourself knowing what will happen in the scene and how.   If you no longer have that spontaneity in your relationship, that feeling of not knowing what is next ... You might want to consider looking for a less predictable relationship, the lure of the unknown.
  But before you go and do that you really should re-negotiate with your Dominant and explain to them that lately scenes have been predictable and fairly uninventive.   That you feel more than ready to move onto the next set of hurdles and lessons. ...Is there some reason that they don't find you ready? ... Are they having problems inventing scenes? ... Is there anything this slave might do to help?

  Some tops find scene invention and creation tiresome ... Some enjoy it.   There will be little way to discern creativity until you are the playmate.   Especially considering that what you think is creative someone else might not.
  Scene negotiation consists of discussing all of the things that you will and won't do as well as any of the things your Dominant might want to try ... And you had never even thought of.
  There are more than a handful of Dominants out there who have this thing for taking advantage of naive " ... I have no limits" responses.

  ... And for those individuals who still think they have no limits let's list a few of the "less pleasant" items on some peoples desired forms of play lists ... Weights (hanging from various parts of the anatomy).  Animals, Gang rape, temporary piercing (the human pincushion), blood play (cutting with razors, fingernails etc.), golden showers, brown showers, electricity, mummification (Egyptian style), same sex scenes, fisting (whole hand within a body cavity), and scarring with things like branding or burning.
  So if you thought you had no limits ... You might want to reconsider that position.

  Most Dominants will not participate in some of the heavier forms of play, but I like that ... "Better safe than Sorry," motto.
  However, and at the same time it is not common practice for tops to divulge all of the tricks up their sleeves.  We did say earlier some degree of confusion and fear is a good thing.
  Therefore if there is something that you have no interest in or would rather avoid, be sure to let it be known that this is one of your hard limits.  A soft limit is something that may change if everything were to fall into place appropriately, but not before then.

  If by example I tell you all of the strange items I like to play with and were then to do a scene with you, you would end up spending the entire session trying to figure out what it was I was using instead of enjoying the sensations and not knowing what is causing it.
  Just know where your line is, and how far you are currently willing to have it pushed is the goal.  If in the future you find that where it was once a long reach you now find it confining, you can always renegotiate for other types of play. Once again I will reiterate that the top may not necessarily be willing to play in this manner and it will then be up to you as to what to do or where to take it from there.  Just remember you got here because you were unfulfilled to begin with - Do you really want to remain is a state of non-fulfillment again?.
  The choice being to remain, or see about seeking out a higher level player.
  There are as many different levels of play as there are players, and a flogging will be differently administered by every top. Some are afraid to hurt you and will want to play in a manner more along body worship, and sensual play such as orgasm deprivation.   From there you might progress onto light bondage and discipline ... and so on.

  There are a number of things that you should discuss with your playmate.   Things like your kinks and fetishes, privacy, discretion, what their *"safe words" are and what they mean, whether you are to be 100% in slave mode or if behaviour, and protocol are unimportant to them, what is expected from you within the context of the scene.  All of these things need to be looked at and discussed by both parties involved for happy, fulfilling, spiritually connective scenes.
  Another item which is often overlooked is "willing suspension of belief."   This involves your ability to convince yourself that your playmate is truly a cop, a doctor, your owner, teacher or any other of the multitude of possibilities.  Can you convince yourself on your own that this is my pastor (when you know full well they are not), and then believe whatever the scene is about.  Or that you got pulled over for speeding and the police officer chose to do this instead of give you a ticket, when really it's a scheduled appointment, and when you first arrived Mistress was doing a southern belle plantation owner type scene ... And now all that has changed is the clothes.  Mentally - are you able to suspend your belief, so that now she is a cop.   And if you think you might have problems with that, is there anything that they can do to help you in that belief.

  Anyone can play, and a crummy scene is not an effort to do.  What works for you and the things you need to happen are probably quite different than what works for the next person.
  I know that people have these convictions that discussing the scene in this type of detail takes away from the spontaneity, and uncertainty.  I am not saying that each and every time you play it is a good idea to go through this process. I do however believe and find that in situations where you are wanting to do something you have not tried before, or that you would like to make another attempt at - Say something you tried once but didn't enjoy the scene it was done in, the context of it or thought you'd like to try it again, but only and if it was to be done in this type of fashion.  And therefore believe that done this way, the scene could be quite rewarding for you ... It's important to voice that .

  Whether this is the first time you have enjoyed either role, or the first month of play with this partner, it is vital to a fulfilling and rewarding relationship (for both of you) to discuss things to a greater degree in the beginning than in the future.
  When you and your dominant are still unfamiliar with each other, or when you haven't played for a long time ... Proper and complete scene negotiation will make the difference between heaven and hell.
  So trust, communication, clarity and willing suspension of belief.  These are the key elements of negotiating a successful and rewarding scene.  It also helps if you understand what is important for you emotionally, and what it is that you are looking for within the scene.  As well as your desires and limits, and which ones are expandable and which are not.

" About Slavery " a copy righted manuscript; copyright 1994, 2000, 2001, 2005   D.Vyne...  and hosted on sinpages.com  Please - Do not reprint, repost, or otherwise duplicate these files in full, or in part without express written authorization of the copyright holder, to do so is to risk criminal persecution and contempt of the community at large.  If you replicate without consent, the rest of your site is trash - Safe - Sane - Consensual - Fun - Between adults - keep it healthy.

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* Safe word - A scene related word which usually has various levels of "stop" associated with it.  A "Yellow" word generally means keep the scene going but change what you're doing and a "red" word means STOP - Period.  Do not continue for 5 seconds.  Do not try to "push the bottom" beyond it just simply STOP NOW.

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